Christian listening

By Ian Davidson (Chaplain 1988-1997)

What, why, where of how to do Christian Listening.

A Service - Why?

A group of twenty-plus people are trained to offer this particular service. Many busy professionals, doctors, clergy and social workers are "people-helpers" without time to pay attention to the whole person, such are the pressures of modern life. It is indeed a rare privilege to be fully and attentively listened to; many of us could count such occasions on the fingers of one hand. To be really heard, to "un-burden", to empty heart and mind in a safe place with an understanding person, this is the foundation of true healing: an opportunity to re-order one's life and affairs.

"When a plaintiff brings you his case, do not dismiss him until he has swept out his body. A good hearing is a soothing of the heart".

Advice given to the King of Egypt by his Grand Vizier, 2450 BC.

A Skill - How?

It comes as a surprise to many of us to realise that listening has many depths, and that to listen really well is a skill to be learned. Many never reach this realisation -- even among the "professionals". A good listener learns to offer complete acceptance, repeating some of the speaker's key phrases and encouraging them to explore their feelings. By the use of summary the listener helps the speaker to arrive at greater clarity. Questioning is kept to a minimum, and confidentiality is maintained while the listener grows in skill through practice, training and supervision.

Listener Training

This training includes exploring:

Listeners are not counsellors; they learn when it is appropriate to refer people to other professionals. They are trained to listen in depth to people in times of difficulty and distress.

Throughout their continuing training Listeners will be encouraged in every situation with their clients to listen to God, and very often a session will end with a word of prayer.

A Way of Life - Where?

In any place where Christians are talking about "Fellowship" and taking "Community" seriously (or even hilariously), there will be deeper and more respectful listening to each other. What begins as a skill to be learned becomes a way of life to be given and received like a "daily bread". "They care enough to listen to me --- I can show my love by doing the same in return". So barriers come down, masks are redundant, and we learn to be more real with each other.

"Listening is the highest form of hospitality ... not to change people, but offering them space where change can take place"

Henri Nouwen

A Listening Church

Such listening is costly and is most effectively carried out by compassionate and prayerful people who are prepared to hone and refine their listening skills by training. Active listening of this sort is one of the building blocks of a healing ministry.The Lord calls upon the Church to listen to what the Spirit is saying. A listening Church is one He can use. As we really listen to our brothers and sisters, we shall hear what God is saying to us. Should we not take with the utmost seriousness that great cry of the Lord rendered thus by Lorimer: "Gin ye hae lugs in yer heid, listen weel!"

"Many people are looking for an ear that will listen. They may not find it readily because Christians are talking when they should be listening, and he who no longer listens to his brother will soon no longer be listening to God either."

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

For an appointment with a Christian Listener please contact the Christian Fellowship of Healing.

Further details and training materials are available from the Scottish Co-ordinator: Revd Robin Anker-Petersen, Blackruthven House, Tibbermore, Perthshire, PH1 1PY. (01738) 583238.

From time to time courses in Christian Listening are run by our tutors at the Christian Fellowship of Healing.

"The first duty of love is to listen"

Paul Tillich

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