Inner healing
By Ian Cowie (Chaplain 1976-88)
"John" came to us for healing of his bad back. In our morning prayers we read Psalm 139, and afterwards it was clear that something was happening. "John" was re-living being rejected by his mother and could see that this lay behind all that had happened to him. As we helped him to see the scene, it transpired that his mother was about 50 at the time ... , with a three-year-old child. He was about that age himself now, so understanding dawned on him: "Oh Mum, I'd never seen you like that before", he cried. A deep healing process started which affected his relationships with his wife and with people at work. His back began to improve, too.
This is an example of the "healing of memories" or "inner healing" as others call it. There are many excellent books (1) about it, so only a brief introduction is given here.
Two Sides of the Same Coin
We have hurt people. We have been hurt by people. In confession, we come to terms with the wrong and the hurt we have caused and received. Both confession and inner healing centre on the fact that all human sin and wrong are focused upon the Cross, where God in Christ takes upon Himself all the sin and hurt of humanity. Every hurt given by one human being to another becomes His hurt, and because He loves both the sinner and the "sinned against", each sin wounds Him doubly.
Therefore I can bring to the foot of the Cross all the hurt and wrong I have received, which perhaps has been festering in my memory for years. I can see that painful memory in the light of the Cross instead of seeing it, for instance, through the eyes of the frightened child that I was. I can see my fellow-sinner who hurt me in a new light, knowing that Christ was there sharing the pain and the shame, and so allow His healing to flow into the whole situation. I can pray for the one who hurt me, and the poison of bitterness and fear within can be released. (See our leaflet "Forgiveness".)
Do it Yourself
There are some hurts which I can deal with myself, just as there are some sins for which I can find pardon just by confessing them in private. But there are some which have made such a deep impression that I need to share the load with somebody who has Christ's authority to deal with them.
Begin by "laying your life before the Lord" ... sometimes it helps actually to stretch yourself on a bed or even before the Communion Table in your church. Ask that the Holy Spirit may go back through the years and deal with anything which needs healing. Open your store of memories to Him and invite Him to walk back through that store to cleanse it, right back to your conception. You may, or may not, have an immediate reaction. In some cases it is in the following weeks that incidents are brought to the surface. It is a process which might go on for months in deeply hurt people. As a memory begins to surface, share it with the Lord. He was there with you at the time. It happened to Him, too, for He said: "Whatever you do to the least of my brethren, you do to me". The people who hurt you were also His beloved children, and you share His sorrow that they could have behaved like that.
It is no part of the Christian life to avoid calling a spade a spade. If it was a wicked thing to do (e.g., if you were interfered with as a child), then it was wicked. Evil is evil --- don't try to whitewash it. Yet, with Christ on the Cross, one can come round to pray for the sinner ... the mother who wounded her child emotionally, the man who violated the child, the husband who was unfaithful ... In the weeks as this process is going on, you must be seeking to deepen your understanding of the Gospel. Clarify your picture of Jesus by reading a book that will help you come to grips with the meaning behind the familiar stories. Seek out worship, conferences, etc which will deepen your commitment and understanding as a Christian. The Holy Spirit will not bring to the surface anything which you are not strong enough spiritually to cope with, but if there are really serious hurts deep down you should seek out somebody experienced in these things, so that your experience may be shared under wise guidance. (For a specimen prayer, see our leaflet "Three prayers".)
Inner Healing for Somebody Else
We may undertake Inner Healing in the course of normal pastoral work or as part of the normal prayer for one another in a Christian Fellowship. This will probably be because normal "treatment" at the medical and spiritual levels does not seem to be progressing. One might say, "I wonder if there is anything deeper behind this. Let us ask the Lord if there are any old wounds or wrong relationships which need to be healed". Then look prayerfully together at a story about Jesus until His Presence becomes real, perhaps read some verses from Psalm 139, and see what happens. We are listening attentively at this point and leading into prayer. There must be no probing, only an openness to the Holy Spirit.
DO NOT TRY THIS WITH MENTALLY ILL OR DEEPLY DISTURBED PEOPLE.
It is usual for us to pray in pairs, a man and a woman, both because the Lord sent His disciples out in pairs and because it shields us against too deep an emotional involvement. It is `two together in His Name' which is the source of spiritual power. We must also allow for the fact that a number of sessions may be needed, especially if the sufferer has very little faith to begin with. It may be necessary to build up a more mature faith first.
In some cases a Bible verse pops into your mind, or perhaps a picture. In one case we were waiting silently and one member got the picture of a bath, which opened up a bad memory for the client. If something like that comes into your mind share it tentatively, so that the person can reject it if it does not make sense or, as in some cases, having rejected it find that it does link up after all.
If tears or anger flow, then let them come unafraid. Enter into this with them and find the way to link it up with the Lord. If you do this too glibly before the real feeling is out then something will be left behind.
End by committing the incident into God's hands and give the person the blessing.
This healing can take place quite naturally without any "label". Here is an example shared with us by one of our members:
The telephone rang in my London flat. It was my sister, 400 miles away.
"I think you'd better come north" - she sounded quietly desperate - "Mother and I are no longer on speaking terms".
Mother was 93 years of age, fit and well, dominating the family unto the third generation and still resentful towards her father, who had been an evangelist and, she considered, too strict with his children. Rather than live with us she had chosen to go into an old people's home, but had become so disruptive there that she had been asked to leave. This was upsetting my sister, who was almost suicidal with depression. Nevertheless it was she who gave mother a home when the authorities expelled her.
Once under the same roof, however, things went from bad to worse. "If only mother would let God run her life", I thought, but her attitude had always been: "If you had my experience of life you wouldn't believe in God either".
A few days later I travelled north to be with them. I knew that only the Almighty could deal with the situation, and that no matter what happened I must listen to God's voice telling me what to do. But I laughed when the thought came: "Start to make a family tree". Mother has an excellent memory and there would be no lack of information, but I was unprepared for her reaction.
"Well", she said, "if you're going to start that, there's something I must tell you". And out of the cupboard came the first skeleton. With the sharing of this life-long secret she found release and her journey to freedom had begun. For us it meant an understanding of her situation.
My innocent questions like "Where is Uncle James buried? I can find no trace of him" brought forth unbelievable stories and memories so painful that she had sleepless nights for a week, but in the end a milestone was reached on the road to freedom.
Then one day the miracle happened. She said she would like to pray; she hadn't prayed aloud since her father led family worship many years before, but her voice was strong and clear as she said, "Please, Father, forgive me for being such a poor mother". The family tree is far from complete but my sister looks radiant these days.
Footnotes
(1) The Prayer that Heals, Francis MacNutt; Healing of Memories, David A Seamands; Emotionally Free, Rita Bennett (Normally available in our library)